Many workplaces and community spaces are using trauma-informed and equity-centered practices to help people feel safe, supported, and included. These include practices such as listening to others, offering support that fits their culture, or giving people choices.
These same trauma-informed practices can be applied at home to support environments and interactions that promote a sense of well-being. This can be especially helpful during times that can be more stressful like the holiday season.
What Are Trauma-Informed Practices?
Trauma-informed practices are an approach based on understanding, recognizing, and responding to the effects of trauma. It prioritizes:
- Safety (physical, emotional, psychological)
- Trust and transparency
- Peer support
- Collaboration and mutuality
- Empowerment, voice, and choice
- Cultural, historical, and gender responsiveness
These principles build trust, belonging, and opportunities for healing and resilience (SAMHSA)
Reflection and Awareness
A first step in using trauma-informed practices is taking time for self-reflection.
Before spending time with others during the holidays, especially family, take some time to think about:
- What are my expectations? Are these realistic?
- What makes me feel safe and supported?
- What does support feel like?
- What are my boundaries?
These questions can help you be more aware before you spend time with others. Writing in a journal, exploring in therapy, or talking to someone you trust can help you reflect more.
Trauma-Informed Holidays: Living Our Values
Holidays can be joyful, and they can also be a stressful time. Using a trauma-informed approach can help lower stress and build stronger connections with others.
Safety & Routine
Schedules often change during the holidays when we might be off from work and school, traveling, eating differently, and going to more events. It can be helpful to maintain your regular schedule when you can and prepare yourself and family members when there might be changes.
- Prepare loved ones for gatherings: “We’ll be at Grandma’s. It might be loud. We will be sure to bring your headphones if you need a break.”
- Identify quiet spaces for breaks and encourage taking some time down as needed.
- Bring along snacks or food you know you and other family members enjoy.
Voice & Choice
While we might be tempted to try and plan to meet everyone’s needs, it can actually be less stressful to give family members the opportunity to figure out what will work best for them.
- Allow people to opt in or out of activities. Not everyone may want to participate and that’s okay.
- It is good practice to ask before hugging or initiating physical contact.
- Offer food choices to meet different dietary and sensory needs or invite guests to bring one of their favorites to share.
Connection Over Perfection
It can be easy to get caught in the perfection trap. Remind yourself what is most important and try to let go of expectations.
- Make time for simple, meaningful things together like taking walks, playing games, or sharing a meal.
- Be present. It’s more important to spend time together than to try to make everything perfect.
Understand and Manage Your Emotions
The holidays can bring up a wide range of emotions, sometimes in unexpected ways. We may hear a song that reminds us of someone bringing both a smile and tears or a memory of past holiday gathering may pop up. And it is important to remember that other people may be experiencing many emotions as well.
- Make space for all your feelings, even grief or overwhelm. The holidays can bring both moments of sadness and joy.
- Allow space without shame – sometimes retreating is self-care.
- Give yourself permission to rest and make time for activities that help you feel your best.
- Remember that you don’t have to say yes to every invitation or fix every problem.
Celebrate Strengths
This is a great time of year to pause and recognize strengths – your own as well as the people close to you. This practice can be a way to ground yourself in “what’s right.” Acknowledge the many different ways people contribute (e.g., laughter, food, spiritual practices).
- Foster and practice gratitude in ways that feel meaningful to you.
Trauma-Informed Responses During the Holidays
Holidays can bring together people with shared backgrounds but who may be in different places in their personal journey or hold different beliefs or values. While we cannot control what other people say or do, it can be helpful to consider how we might respond if a challenging situation comes up.
1. Set a Clear Boundary in the Moment
• Response example: “I’m not comfortable with that comment. Let’s keep this conversation respectful.”
• Why: This protects your emotional safety, signals what is not okay, and models self-advocacy without escalating.
2. Exit or Take a Break
• Response example: “I am going to step away right now to take a break. I’ll come back when I feel ready.”
• Why: Walking away can help calm your body and avoid escalation. It also shows you value your wellbeing. You are not required to endure harm for the sake of tradition.
3. Prioritize Healing and Rest Afterward
• Response example: After a challenging situation, give yourself permission to process. It may be helpful to journal, call a trusted friend, take a walk, or rest.
• Why: Offense or harm can linger. Centering recovery ensures you don’t carry the weight forward.
It is okay to name the harm, remove yourself, or tend to your healing. All are valid and trauma-informed responses during the holidays. These are not escapes—they are trauma-informed acts of self-care.
Practicing trauma-informed care at home, especially during the holidays, means living our values: centering safety, choice, connection, and healing. Whether you set boundaries, take a break, or just rest, you are honoring your needs.
Visit www.traumainformedny.org for more free tools and support.