We finally arrive at Stop 4 on My Inner Landscape Map: the call to reclaim your power.
One of the most meaningful ways I’ve reclaimed my power from trauma and loss has been through self-expression, more specifically fashion and hair color. All my life, color and accessories were staples of my wardrobe. I didn’t realize that they’d one day help me remember the light I’m guided to contribute to the world. They’ve also helped pull me out of some of the darkest moments, literally bringing color into my life. Over the years, people would point out how my glasses match my outfit or how my hair color complements what I’m wearing. These small acts of expression have become a signature part of who I am, especially as I’ve transformed into the leader of my life, business, and healing.
As someone who identifies as a Black woman with both Southern and city roots, who is child-free by choice, and who has experienced at least seven ACEs, navigating the world hasn’t always felt good or safe. Each of us encounters bias or judgment in our daily lives. Many of us carry struggles that others never fully see or understand. Yet our unique superpowers, those gifts that make us who we are, can add value to the world and remind us of our resilience as we navigate adversity.
Fashion has been one of those superpowers for me. It has empowered me to reclaim my voice and restore my sense of self. If you’ve experienced trauma, you may relate to the feeling of life pushing you around, as if you have no say or control. But this is simply false. People who’ve lived through trauma can reclaim their lives. One of the reasons I love fashion is because it makes me feel good and enables me to face the day ahead confidently and from a positive perspective. It allows me to set the tone for my morning, which then influences how I meet whatever uncertainty the day brings.
One concept that I’ve thought about recently in conjunction with the losses I’ve endured is grief fashion. The day I buried my father, I looked around and wondered: Why is black the default color for mourning and funerals? For me, wearing black deepened the bitterness of his death. It doesn’t align with the version of him I choose to hold in my heart—warm, joyful, and funny. Historically, in the United States, black became associated with mourning through European traditions brought into American culture in the 19th century. In Black communities, wearing black at funerals also became customary, though styles and color choices have always varied. Some families choose black as a sign of respect and solemnity; others incorporate white, purple, or vibrant colors to honor a person’s spirit, faith, or cultural background.
As someone actively mourning the loss of both of my parents, I now choose to remember them with color and vibrancy. My parents are central figures in my story. My experience as their daughter wasn’t always easy; sometimes, at times, it hurt. But through healing, I’ve come to understand our shared humanity, and I’m grateful for the gift of life they gave me. I honor my mother, especially, through the memory of her style and giving heart. And I remember my father through his unmistakable humor and charm, both of which were uniquely his own.
Once upon a time, I was someone who struggled to feel at home in this world. But as I learned to leverage my story for power rather than victimhood, I realized I belong just as much as anyone else. Since my time as a caregiver, I’ve graduated magna cum laude from CUNY’s distinguished Baccalaureate for Unique and Interdisciplinary Studies program with a bachelor’s degree in business and content strategy. I’ve explored social entrepreneurship and community-based initiatives focused on supporting social innovators as they reclaim their power and resilience. I’m now on track to graduate with honors again from Dominican University, where I’m earning my Master of Arts in Trauma-Informed Leadership. I became an ICF- certified From Grief to Gratitude Grief Coach. And today, I’m reshaping my narrative from trauma survivor to trauma-informed leader, educating everyday people, leaders, and organizations on trauma and grief. All of this is to say: if I can become someone I’m proud of after such profound hardship, you can too.
Now that you’ve read some of my story, I hope you can see that while healing from trauma and loss is an ongoing journey, it’s possible. I invite you to reflect on your own superpowers, whether you’ve noticed them before or not. Superpowers aren’t limited to fashion; they can be expressed through creativity, movement, community, rest, innovation, or any modality that brings you home to yourself.
So here’s my call to action: be courageous enough to discover the strongest parts of who you are and then go out into the world and show them unapologetically.
Thank you for walking with me through my Inner Landscape Map. Stops 1 , 2 , and 3 all led here. I hope they encouraged you to reflect on your own journey and recognize the strongest, most meaningful parts of it. Most importantly, I hope they’ve inspired you to move forward after trauma with hope, courage, and resilience.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story with you.
To get in touch with me, feel free to reach out at sierajanae@thelightersociety.com or follow me on LinkedIn.