It can be hard to stay grounded in times of change or uncertainty. When our nervous systems are collectively in a frenzy, it can feel impossible to resist the urge to isolate! Here are some tips for staying grounded in your community.
#1: Look for resources
Go to places in your community like libraries, small businesses, LGBTQ or culture-specific organizations, houses of worship. Start by looking on their community boards, newsletters, Facebook pages, Instagram pages, etc. for what they offer.
#2: Start virtual and go from there
Facebook and Instagram are great ways to find free events run by non-profits. Virtual events may be a stepping stone as you practice social/conversational skills that you can take to live and in-person events.
#3: Find ways to “parallel play”
Get comfortable with going out alone. Go to an independent coffee shop, library, or park. Bring some solo activities like a book, a journal, or coloring (just not your phone!) Settle in and let yourself get used to being around people.
#4: Show up with no expectations
Once you find an in-person event to go to show up without any goals other than to be there. Don’t worry about how many friends you make or people you talk to. Give yourself time to acclimate. As you go to more events you can start setting expectations.
#5: Learn how to “be in community”
Community is imperfect. Whatever you envision as a perfect community you fit right into… ditch that thought. There will be conflict, someone is annoyed, people with busy schedules, etc. But it is human! Remember, we are usually more than what we see on social media and shown on reels, posts and stories.
#6: Take a social media detox
It might sound counter-intuitive after you might have used social media to locate the resources, but a detox doesn’t have to be permanent. Leave social media for two or three days to reset. It can help you be more present when you show up at in-person events.
#7: Find out whose “roster” you are on and whose on your “roster”
Now that you’ve attended some local in-person groups it’s time to figure out who is on your “roster,” which is a list of people you can count on. Who can you trust to be a listening ear? To help you run errands? To invite you to small group get-togethers? Who trusts you to do that?
#8: If you don’t see something you’re drawn to… make something!
It’s surprisingly easy to start your own group or event. If you like to go jogging every morning, get on Facebook and create a group for a town running club. Attend local or county meetings (yes, they’re usually open to the public!) Meet with your local librarian, worship leader, or other community figure and ask how they could support your idea.
Isolation and fear are a strong force. However, most believe that joy and the indomitable human spirit is stronger. A solo healing journey can only go so far. Incorporating community into your healing can take you even further.