Many people go through hard experiences like abuse, violence, loss, or neglect. Sometimes, those experiences leave a lasting impact, even long after they’re over. In addition, new milestones – like becoming a parent or moving away from home – can activate old emotional wounds. This is called unresolved trauma.
Here are five signs that trauma might still be affecting you – and some steps you can take to start healing.
1. You feel on edge or easily upset
Do loud noises, surprises, or certain places make you feel panicked, angry, or uncomfortable? Our nervous system is designed to keep us safe. Unresolved trauma can keep your body stuck in “fight or flight” mode, even when you’re safe. This can even happen years after a traumatic event or situation.
What to do:
Try grounding exercises, like deep breathing or naming five things you see around you. Join our virtual Breath-Body-Mind sessions, which are also a great resource to help calm your nervous system. These sessions provide gentle stress relief and are free and open to all New Yorkers.
2. You avoid certain people, places, or memories
If you find yourself going out of your way to avoid things that remind you of the past, it could be a sign of trauma avoidance. This can be helpful in the moment so you can get through a difficult situation but can be limiting over time.
What to do:
You don’t have to face everything at once. Talking to a trauma-informed therapist can help you process these feelings with support and at the right pace for you. Use TINRC’s resource directory to find support near you.
3. You feel numb or disconnected
You might feel like you’re just going through the motions. Some people with unresolved trauma feel “frozen,” or like they can’t connect with others. When emotions become overwhelming, our nervous system can respond by dampening down all our feelings.
What to do:
Even small steps – like journaling or connecting with a trusted friend or pet – can help you feel more present. Spending time outdoors or doing a daily activity with mindful awareness can be helpful. Support groups can also be beneficial. If you feel that you need immediate support, call 988.
4. You have trouble sleeping or have nightmares
Trouble falling or staying asleep, or having stressful dreams, is not uncommon with unresolved trauma. When we no longer have the distraction that daily life provides, stress and worry associated with trauma can show up as nighttime approaches.
What to do:
Create a calming bedtime routine. This could be journaling, taking a warm shower, and drinking a cup of tea. Try to avoid screen time at least one hour before bed.
5. You blame yourself for things that weren’t your fault
Survivors of trauma often carry shame or guilt about what happened to them, even when they did nothing wrong. Stigma connected to certain types of trauma can also send the message that the survivor is responsible in some way.
What to do:
Remember: what happened is not your fault. You deserve support and healing. Learning about trauma, and becoming trauma-informed, can help you understand your reactions. Listen to an episode of our podcast, Pathways, to learn more about the ways trauma affects people – and how you can begin your healing journey.
You Are Not Alone
If any of this sounds familiar, know this: healing is possible, and help is available. The NYS TINRC is here to connect you with resources, tools, and support.
Explore more at nystrauminformed.org
The NYS TINRC Newsletter are produced by CCSI. The views, opinions, and content expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or policies of the New York State Office of Mental Health (NYS OMH).